Palo Alto Joe

Palo Alto Joe Index

The Rose and Crown and Rudy's

Like any good yuppie-hating, Guiness-swilling child of the seventies, Palo Alto Joe likes to hang out at the Rose and Crown and Rudy's. This week I uncovered the mystery as to how these two bars in the heart of the Palo Alto bar scene, generally keep the most undesireable tie-wearing, hair-gooping, yuppy-sheep out of their bars.

Rudyard, the proprietor of Rudy's explained to me that "a long time ago, we used to let them in. But we noticed that the bar was just no fun anymore." Rudyard shook his head sadly as Palo Alto Joe sipped through the thick head on his Guiness. "So we implemented a new policy called RJR-1000 which basically said 'Hey, smoke up!'." Rudyard laughed. "It was a little bothersome to us at first, the smell and all, but very quickly we grew accustomed to the smoke and faster than you can say 'Drive that BMW back to Atherton you ugly yuppie!' the suits and hair goop stopped coming in."
In the pure interest of science, Palo Alto Joe wanted to see if there was any truth to the theory about cigarette smoke being a yuppie repellant and endeavored to find out how, exactly, the RJR-1000 plan worked. Putting on an Armani suit and sharply polished Italian shoes, Palo Alto Joe and his team of researchers gooped up their hair, rented expensive cars and begged some attractive women to accompany them to Rudy's and the Rose and Crown one night last week.

While Palo Alto Joe and his entourage always manage to have fun, we did notice that an inordinate number of blue-jean clad hipsters and their nose-pierced cousins expressed an interest in kicking our "sweet patooties" for invading their turf.

Nonetheless, the interests of science were greater than threats to our collective patooties. The crack team of researchers stuck it out and learned three valuable facts. First, an Armani suit, when worn into an RJR-1000 protected bar smells very much like an ash-tray on the way home. Secondly, under the same conditions, Italian shoes make one's feet feel very uncomfortable. And finally the third important lesson uncovered by Palo Alto Joe and those who comprise his et.al, is that hair goop leaves an awful mess on the head rests of expensive cars.
Safe in the knowledge that the RJR-1000 yuppie-repellant has been fully validated as safe for you, the reader, watch this column for the results of Palo Alto Joe's study of Hootie repellant for juke boxes everywhere.

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Like any good yuppie-hating, Guiness-swilling child of the seventies, Palo Alto Joe likes to hang out at the Rose and Crown and Rudy's. This week I uncovered the mystery as to how these two bars in the heart of the Palo Alto bar scene, generally keep the most undesireable tie-wearing, hair-gooping, yuppy-sheep out of their bars.
	Rudyard, the proprietor of Rudy's explained to me that "a long time ago, we used to let them in. But we noticed that the bar was just no fun anymore." Rudyard shook his head sadly as Palo Alto Joe sipped through the thick head on his Guiness. "So we implemented a new policy called RJR-1000 which basically said 'Hey, smoke up!'." Rudyard laughed. "It was a little bothersome to us at first, the smell and all, but very quickly we grew accustomed to the smoke and faster than you can say 'Drive that BMW back to Atherton you ugly yuppie!' the suits and hair goop stopped coming in." In the pure interest of science, Palo Alto Joe wanted to see if there was any truth to the theory about cigarette smoke being a yuppie repellant and endeavored to find out how, exactly, the RJR-1000 plan worked. Putting on an Armani suit and sharply polished Italian shoes, Palo Alto Joe and his team of researchers gooped up their hair, rented expensive cars and begged some attractive women to accompany them to Rudy's and the Rose and Crown one night last week.
While Palo Alto Joe and his entourage always manage to have fun, we did notice that an inordinate number of blue-jean clad hipsters and their nose-pierced cousins expressed an interest in kicking our "sweet patooties" for invading their turf.
		Nonetheless, the interests of science were greater than threats to our collective patooties. The crack team of researchers stuck it out and learned three valuable facts. First, an Armani suit, when worn into an RJR-1000 protected bar smells very much like an ash-tray on the way home. Secondly, under the same conditions, Italian shoes make one's feet feel very uncomfortable. And finally the third important lesson uncovered by Palo Alto Joe and those who comprise his et.al, is that hair goop leaves an awful mess on the head rests of expensive cars. Safe in the knowledge that the RJR-1000 yuppie-repellant has been fully validated as safe for you, the reader, watch this column for the results of Palo Alto Joe's study of Hootie repellant for juke boxes everywhere.